Having trawled through lots of online profiles I thought it might be a good idea to write some tips for men on how to write a good profile. So many profiles exist with poor spelling, badly taken photos or details of what they don’t want, rather than what they do want. A search of women online reveals there’s a lot of gorgeous intelligent women looking for someone but their profile screams princess. Then I realised that I’m not the average woman on these sites and to be honest I’ve been out of the game so long that I don’t even know the rules. Who am I to tell men or women what they should and shouldn’t put on their profile.
Added to that, at my age everyone’s got baggage but my baggage quite different from the standard, not better and not worse. I hid away, I didn’t live life to the full, romantically at least. The rest of the world has been busy collecting new baggage, trading in and/or downsizing. I focused on travelling, moving city, creating a new career while my frayed and worn baggage stayed in storage.
I’m really a beginner in this new world I’m investigating, a born again dater I suppose. I don’t know the rules, I honestly don’t even know if there are rules I should be learning. I took my baggage from the attic and knowing it was badly in need of refurbishment; I spruced it up, took a few pictures to show it’s best features and headed to the online world. It’s not all that dissimilar to selling a second hand car if I’m honest.
So far I’ve met 3 guys for dates from online chats and based on my learnings, I’ve got a way to go yet.
The first was C. He was hot, fun, exciting, romantic, clever and well matched with my sarcasm. Honestly, I thought I’d found an early winner. This was almost too good to be true, was online dating really this easy? It was far too early to reveal my particular style of baggage, how I’d hidden myself away for so long and knew nothing of the rules or protocols of the game but early signs were promising that I could soon be completely honest. I think I may have been too skittish and it really was a shame to have wasted such a good guy on my first run. For him, the spark fizzled, oh well. Such is life, onwards and upwards after dusting myself off once more.
T was next. That was an unmitigated disaster. When he suggested meeting after only a few hours of chatting, I thought it was a great idea. I disliked endless texting with strangers and this was a nice alternative. As it turned out, we had nothing in common, he talked endlessly about money and how expensive everything was. I’m sure he was a nice guy underneath it all but I couldn’t get past the shocking lack of intelligent conversation. I’d learned my lesson, to chat a bit more online before deciding to don make-up and heels for him.
Then came D. We chatted for a bit online. He seemed ok, yes he was just ok but let’s not rule him out straight away. He called me, we had a 2 hour phone conversation. I swear the time just flew. I’d finally found my intelligent conversation, this was fantastic, exactly what I’d been looking for. Some of the conversation was challenging but it was a valid lesson in honesty and pushing myself out of the comfort zone I’d grown so used to. It was time to meet. There might’ve been a spark, I was still undecided. The fly in the ointment came when during our lengthy intelligent conversation we reached abortion and feminism. He certainly believed he saw me as an equal but his words said something very different. And that was the end of that. I’d found my dealbreaker.
3 down, 300 or so to go. This is tiring but I am having fun. I am learning more about myself than I ever did sitting at home waiting for my life to magically change.
And so I to dust myself off again to spend another week in the online world without a clue.