A little while ago I matched with a guy on the east coast. He was unbelievably funny,  quite handsome, intelligent and had a sardonic wit that I just love. He seemed really interested at first and I decided he was worth the effort of getting to know better despite the distance. He’d read all my blog posts. He very quickly got to know the real me and he wasn’t running scared. This was all very promising. I was about as taken by him as it’s possible to be with a just a profile and a voice to go on. But we never met. So what went wrong?

We’d chatted for 3 long weeks and I was eager to meet him. I did instigate a meeting at one point but it didn’t work out. I didn’t want to chat or match with anyone else. I was willing to invest my efforts in him. The problem arose when I realised I was the only one investing this effort.

We all want to feel wanted and simply put, I didn’t. I didn’t need epic sexting sessions but a plan to meet up or a ‘Good Morning, I’ve been thinking about you’ once in a while would’ve been sufficient. I needed to see intent towards something more, even a vague promise would’ve held me a little longer. Instead I’d found myself a damn penpal.


I had a long talk with myself, not dissimilar to something quoted in the movie ‘He’s Just Not That Into You’. I unmatched, deleted his number and brushed myself off. I’m glad I went as far as deleting his number, I know I’d still be reaching out if I hadn’t and nobody wants to become that particular breed of bunny boiler.

I won’t settle for someone who’s just not that into me and hope I never will. I am worth more effort than I saw from East Coast Guy. And so I brush myself off, find another nice young lad for distraction and soldier on once more.


Comments on: "Penpals" (1)

  1. I think the penpal situation is a common problem, but I hadn’t heard it worded that way. You made me laugh! Yes! We are worth so much more than this! Never settle… Great blog!

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