After a few early messages, I usually get a sense of a person. Yes I could be very wrong about them and it can all turn pear-shaped quite fast but that early impression counts for a lot.
We get chatting; sharing stories and interests, learning all about each other and that’s when it kicks in. Hope. Regardless of how many times I’ve had this feeling before or how many times it’s been misplaced, it inevitably returns and with it comes a bucket load of confusion.
Today I’m slap bang in the middle of the hope phase. I’m loving and hating it in equal measure. Yes, it’s exciting getting to know him and I’m having lots of laughs but nestled in the back of my mind is that this is not real, and it can’t be real until we meet. Essentially I’m refusing to trust my own judgement of our conversations. What if he’s nothing like I’ve imagined? What if I’m an awful judge of character? What if he’s simply really good at telling me what I want to hear?
A consequence to that is that this can put a lot of unnecessary pressure on a first meeting. Wasn’t it so much easier when we met in real life first? Texting with people we already know is fine but texting strangers is fraught with doubts. Maybe it’s because I see so many obvious catfish online that I’m wary of anyone who seems too good to be true. Of course it could be fine and it’s probable that I’m just overthinking it; nothing new there.
I used to be quite blasé about first dates, and mostly I still am. Once in a while though you find one that you’re really hopeful about. Who knew that hope and excitement was so stress inducing? I’m sure we’ll meet in the next few days, wish me luck!