We’re rarely intentionally cruel, but we can be guilty of some very mean-spirited behaviour towards our fellow singleton. Is stringing someone along better or worse than ghosting them? Does it count as letting them down gently? I’ll let you decide.
I recently met a guy that got me thinking about this. I felt he was stringing me along for one of the reasons below (Spoiler alert: I suspect it was ‘Options’). I ghosted his last sporadic and insincere message. But which of us is worse?
I wouldn’t ever string anyone along to be intentionally mean, I’m sure very few would. But why can callousness come so easily to us? When did we become so cold?
Dating is like waiting for a bus. It’s utterly selfish but it’s also nice to have someone interested in us to massage our ego and make us feel desirable when the pickings are slim. Even I’m guilty of this one, and I’m damn near perfect.
I could argue the point that we’re too nice and hate the prospect of hurting anyone but that’s not it. We’re doing it because we’re selfish and don’t want to play the villan. The Nerd did this one to me and it felt awful when the penny dropped. I don’t do well with subtleties so to be quite honest, it’s a wonder that particular penny dropped at all.
We haven’t yet decided if we want them in our lives so we hang on and drip feed the interaction while searching for someone better. Can they not see I’m totally fricking awesome? Seriously what’s there to think about?
This needs no explanation. It’s intentional and it’s keeping you strung along with a minimum of effort for the possibility of maybe getting laid on a Friday night.
In A Relationship
So what should we do when we think we’re being strung along? The correct answer is nothing at all. If a guy wants to talk to you or see you, there will be no excuses, there will be no games. He will make it happen. It really is that simple.