How Do You Spell Single?

Online dating is a bit like a left handed wank. It feels weird and unnatural but if you put the effort in, you might just get the result you seek.
With this in mind, perhaps a cursory check of your profile is a good idea, it’s the only thing your prospective dates will have to judge you on. Remember folks, spell check is your friend.

I’m not a complete autocrat, there are some errors I will forgive. I’m also perfectly ok with a lot of text abbreviations. I’m sure I’d never get laid at all if I didn’t forgive the occasional typo of the your/you’re, there/their/they’re and the then/than variety.


On one site in particular, one of the questions you need to complete is your occupation. Here’s a selection of occupations of my prospective matches in the greater Galway area:

Tower cane
Free lancer

I’ve found men on this site in the past few weeks describe themselves as follows:

I am cearing (I can only assume he means caring).
I am toaled am funny (Well I laughed).
People say I am a GD man (No idea what he’s trying to say here).
Will fill dis out later (Can’t imagine how he’ll improve upon this insight into his character).
Could of (Just how difficult is “Could have”)?
Searious (Seariously?)
Simular (Like is far easier to spell correctly).
Looking to meet the wome of my dreams (What’s a wome?).

The pickings are slim, even when I’ve conceded to accept the more forgivable typos. The world of online dating is a very bleak place indeed when spelling skills become a basic requirement in a suitor.

I am also learning quite a lot of peculiar text speak lately. Did you know that bbe means babe? I mean who’d see a need to type an extra letter to make the subject matter clearer? Never mind the fact that we’ve never met and I’m wincing at being called babe, in any format.

I’ll bet you couldn’t guess what wbu stands for? No? Well that’s because the letters in this particular acronym don’t even represent the words within it. It stands for ‘what About you’.

Are single women just as bad? Can anyone spell correctly anymore or am I destined to drop my standards even further?

I despair.

And parents, can you please ensure your offspring never fail to get the ride in the future because of a poor attention to spelling.


Comments on: "How Do You Spell Single?" (6)

  1. Love this…love it..and so so true. Sad really. One of the occupations I came across was Dictor – still musing re that one.

  2. Dana Halliday said:

    Sounds like he’s looking to meet the ‘womb’ of his dreams. Very romantic

  3. unrequitedtealover said:

    I empathise. I’m on the same train. I’m contemplating terminal solitude. One of my personal favourites is “Not sure what to say here hahaha.”.

    Well if YOU don’t know what to say about you, I certainly don’t.

    Couple that with the spelling, and *nearghplomwithaaaagh*. Or similar.

  4. Haha!! Hopeless, utterly hopeless.

  5. if he doesnt know the difference between “where” and “were” swipe left! 😛

  6. Hy bbe, unfortunately people out for a ride can’t put sentences together in real life either

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