We all suffer loneliness and insecurity to some degree in our lives. These feelings are usually independent of our environment. They are generated internally by a little inner voice that seeks to do us harm.
We look around us and see everyone else to be so much happier and have their emotional needs fulfilled. Why do we so easily compare our lives to the lives of others? I think it’s safe to say, it will never come good to do so.
There are two obvious and popular ways to deal with these feelings of insecurity and inadequacy. The first is to build a wall. We don’t let anyone in so they’ll never have the opportunity to disappoint us. The second is to come across as needy. We are the friend or lover that continually seeks reassurance of our validity. Neither of these options are particularly appealing, nor are they successful having tried them both.
I could suggest that we as a society be more open with our feelings so those around us know they are loved. Doing this can only be a positive experience but in this particular instance the insecurity and inadequacy come from the inside and cannot be repaired by external forces. Reassuring someone daily will not negate the inner feelings of doubt.
So what can we do to deal with this hunger inside us, unsated by our loved ones? Honestly I’ve never managed it alone, I have always needed professional assistance.There are numerous therapies available such as CBT or ACT. Our insecurities are fed by an inner voice that I can’t control alone. This voice feeds on moments and turns them ugly. From my experience I’ve found it’s a slippery slope from feelings of inadequacy to clinical depression. Clinical depression is when that ugly inner voice wins the battle over rational thought. Nip it in the bud, look for the signs, read up on it, talk to your doctor and get a counsellor. You’re not alone no matter what that voice tells you, far too many of us have been there far too often. The voice lies, it twists and turns facts until you no longer know what’s real or true.
I’ll never be fully healed but each time he wins a battle I learn a little more and gain more tools in my arsenal to beat him down. We all have the power to beat him. There’s no shame in seeking the expert guidance of a professional to help you see what you need to do. You’d seek expert advice for any other task, why not for your mind.